Loneliness today

6D550A7D-1596-4B9E-A086-ECE347EF414BLoneliness what I would say is one of the biggest most un talked about issues in the world today. Systemically we have drifted apart and there is a multitude of reasons for it. One reason in my opinion being the internet and social media addiction. I feel though that loneliness has existed for a long time, we just weren’t conscious of it or the damage it does.

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Go to Starbucks, a restaurant, the mall, even the grocery store. How many people speak to you and you speak to them? How often do other people make eye contact with you and you make eye contact with them. I have been noticing this for a while now. I’m just as guilty of it as others. It’s one of those things I think that when you have become resigned to the idea that you are just “alone” in this world, that perpetuates further activities and thoughts of isolation. Let me explain.. Say you were in a marriage or relationship for a few years or even several years. You would think because you “have someone” your not lonely, but that’s sometimes the worst loneliness.  Eventually the relationship ends in divorce or a split. Think about the weeks and months preceding that split. I bet there were times when you were in the same room with that person yet felt like they didn’t even see you or acknowledge your presence. I’m sure there were instances you may have had sex with them, but it was merely going through the motions no true love or connection attained. Looking back in my own marriage I felt for two years that I was not seen , heard, or acknowledged for who I really was. It feels extremely painful.  This I feel has become more the norm in relationships than the exception. Some couples turn to religion, alcohol, or anything to derail from looking at the issue at hand. Though they are bypassing the most important problem which is their breakdown of communication and they may be temporarily consumed by something. The end result is they are lonely as hell and quite miserable. I go out to eat and I see couples sitting across from each other with the intent to have a lovely dinner together, but instead they are more intrigued by whatever is going on with Instagram or Facebook. We are here but we are not really “here.”  I am a fan of Teal Swan, many are not, but I owe so much gratitude to her for waking me up to a life I slept halfway through. She talks a lot about shadow work and whether we like to hear it or not we all have a shadow side to us that developed usually from our childhood. She has a book coming out soon called the Anatomy of Loneliness. I look forward to reading it. I have listened to interviews regarding the book and I will post one below that I thought was really good if your interested.

To love someone is to take their feelings and emotions on as your own. One thing I’ve learned  is if you think about anyone who has had the capacity to hurt another living being whether it be rape, murder, etc . There is isolation and detachment from others going on. If I truly care for you and take your feelings on as my own then it would be nearly impossible for me to cause you any harm. Think about your family members or your spouse. If they are hurting you are hurting in some way. Think about when your little child falls and hurts themself it’s almost as if you can feel the pain of what they are feeling . You can if you are attuned to them . We must start being more attuned to how others feel. Especially our children!  For me being so sensitive to everything I have days I wish I could do that a little less lol. I’m working on boundaries. I grew up with very weak boundaries I assume, because I felt that everyone must be and feel as I do. Obviously in this world that’s not the case as much as it would be beautiful if we were all respectful of each other’s boundaries and feelings.  Maybe someday!

I just wanted to write about this tonight also because my daughter deals with feelings of isolation as well. She is rather mature for her age, but struggles with social skills. It is a blessing and a curse. She wants kids to like her and be accepted, but she is having a hard time making a true friend at her new school.. Things she is interested in they could care less about  and vice versa. I drove across town tonight to pick up a little girl she does get along with well from her old school. I do hope she can find someone who gets her where she’s at, ,but so far she has not and in the meantime I feel she needs that connection with a little girl her age . So I took them to the mall and they had a great time.  She lit up like a Christmas tree being with her. Since she was diagnosed with Turner Syndrome, it indicated in research that she would have difficulty socially and I just hope with time it will improve as other things have.. Sometimes it’s hard for adults to make a “real” friend. We have lots of acquaintances, but to find a person who really cares deeply about your feelings and life is needle in the haystack level or jackpot however you wanna see it. So it just got me thinking about loneliness in general and how detrimental it can be to our overall health and well being in this life. Thanks for reading.

Interview.

 

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