Feeling off today..

I have felt very off today. Maybe its the moon thing.. Moon in Taurus? is that right… I am not good really at understanding the moon cycles or astrology at all. I do understand zodiac signs a little and know I am definitely an Aries..

This Aries is struggling.. Today I tried to meditate and felt it was an epic fail. I started in my room on the floor and just felt like my mind was going a 100mph and even when I stopped thinking I still did not feel connected. I tried to do a grounding exercise I learned and it always does help but yeah still wasn’t able to really meditate like I did the day before. I moved into the bathtub, put some essential oils in there. If you haven’t tried essential (doTerra) essential oils in your bath you should! It always makes me feel better and just more relaxed, but still… no dice on the meditation. I have been working on learning to do some removing of trash if you will that has been stored in me for a long time emotionally. It is a work in progress learning how to manipulate energy within my own being. The lady that I’m learning from is amazing and when a clearing is done in her presence I always feel lighter, more at ease, etc.. but I however am not there yet. I have to be okay with that because ya know Rome wasn’t built in a day as they say. For the pro meditators out there any tips would be appreciated…

I had job interviews this week. Ugh.. I hate interviews…It is positive and negative for me. I have greatly enjoyed part of the time I have been off work. I have been able to take my kid to school and pick her up. For the working parents out there you know how huge that is to your kid to be able to do that instead of them riding the bus. Maybe mine is just spoiled and hates the bus but yeah I enjoy picking her up. I interviewed for a PACU job and hope that I get it because I think for as long as I have to be in nursing thats where I derive the most fulfillment. I have always liked surgical patients and so yeah hope that works out. I don’t really have any pressing messages to deliver or information tonight. I basically just wanted to write out a little bit of whats been on my brain and share it with you. I have been working on making videos for my new Facebook page ” The Health of Knowledge”. I am also working at not being so analytical and picking it to death. I know I should just post the damn things and let it roll. I have so much information inside and being able to convey it outside is a different ballgame. It is like when I had to take speech in college.. I Just am more of a writer than a speaker , atleast right now I feel.  I have watched videos on youtube that I felt were disrespectful or inappropriate for kids to watch etc so though I want to be as authentic as possible, but curse words do spill out of this mouth sometimes. I have to keep in mind that anyone can watch the videos and the impact it can have on people and young people. I want to have positive impact!

I have been quite stressed since taking my mom to her last cycle of chemo last week. It takes a toll on me being around the cancer areas of the hospital. Thats why when I was asked to come back there and work. I had to decline. It is so painful to me to see on a daily basis the degeneration of peoples bodies and spirits as they suffer taking these powerful substances. I have to take my mom to her oncology doctor tomorrow to see how her blood work looks following her chemo. She completed her treatments last Friday and has felt pretty rough since. It seems like for the first couple of days she feels okay because the meds are still on board. As they wear off then it hits her like a train. I am struggling inside hugely with the chemo and radiation. For those who know me, I am an anti drug kind of person. I have found in my life that drugs only suppress symptoms and I have experienced the effects of that first hand, which I will discuss in my second video when I post it. I think with chemo it helps in that it kills the cancer perhaps, but the systemic damage is what I have a hard time coping with. Radiation as well.. its like burning the damn house down. Though I want to be supportive to her, and I did support her decision to take the chemo and radiation. I pray she will be able to recover and bounce back. It just worries me that so many are being led down that road when I feel in my heart there is a better road. So anyways enough about that. I just hope her blood counts are not down tomorrow and that she won’t have to receive any more blood products.

This was a rant more than a regular blog.. I just had to clear out some thoughts. I’m still curious it anyone would want to tell me any topics related to health that they are interested in. Any health issues you are struggling with? questions about Food, I love to talk about food. It would help in making topics for videos. If you do, you can post them on my Facebook page under any post.

Thanks for reading.

Remember…

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have a good day/night.

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