Love more..fear less…

I will start here by saying that I write more drafts than I do publications. I think up more songs than I share. I have written many poems that nobody but me has read, and I feel I can no longer keep those things in a bottle.

Life is an interesting thing. I feel the more that I think I am evolving the less evolved I feel. That probably makes no sense to some, but it’s true. The more you learn the more questions you have and it just keeps going and going. I have a lot of questions that are unanswered about this life. I wonder many days why we choose to keep hurting animals for food when we can thrive beautifully without meat. I wonder why people hurt animals period and neglect them. Why do human beings neglect their children and abuse them? When I think of all these things and so many more. I feel there is a common denominator that links it all. Lack of love. Lack of love can mean many different things. It can mean that children grew up without love and in turn don’t know how to give it in their adult lives. It can mean that people have lost so much love in their life they have just given up on the possibility of it. Perhaps it is an ingrained family pattern buried deep within them that they are not even conscious of. Ahh.. now that one sounds like it rains true for so many of us. Before I went on this vegan journey. I call it a journey because I’m learning more as I go… I also am not a perfect “vegan” and don’t want to be. I just want to help heal this body that I’ve abused for many years with bad foods and stress; that takes time.  When I started eliminating meat and processed foods and soft drinks from my life I felt a shift. It was not overnight so don’t think if you go a few days without meat your gonna be totally enlightened. I mean over a period of the last three years for me especially. The more that I have gone without meat the more in tune I have become with myself and those around me. I feel more sensitive to things, smells, colors, light, and other peoples energy. I sometimes don’t know if this is a good thing or bad. Feeling the pain of other people has been an issue for me for a while and I don’t think until  now that I really was conscious of how it has been affecting me.

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My daughter is even more sensitive than I am. I remember when she was about 4 or 5. If I would get really upset or even if I like cut my finger and was like “OUCH” and seemed in distress. She could not handle it. When she was really young she would start like displaying the same behavior I was, or acting like she was mad or upset. I would be thinking what the hell, I’m the one here hurting why is she acting like this!! I would think something is wrong with her and for years I never really connected it until now. She feels my pain and at that young age she didn’t know how to cope with it. Another thing I have noticed is when we go somewhere and there is a large crowd of people like the mall or farmers market. Sometimes I start to feel sick or dizzy. This just recently started happening really this summer. Hannah would be like what is wrong with you?? I would just say I don’t know I feel like so dizzy. Once I would get away and we would be driving home with the windows down and I could breathe better It would dissipate. So I guess what I have figured out is I take on others energy very easily and…

When we are eating poorly. When we are eating foods that are weighing us down it numbs us. It makes us more unaware of all thats happening on higher levels. With meat being a highly energetic food. Depending on how the animal is slaughtered and if there is a lot of fear in the animal at death. (which there probably is because they do have a nervous system) then when you consume the meat your taking on that energy  unconsciously without even realizing it. I ate meat for years and never would have thought about that when I was enjoying my steak or chicken. Now when I eat I feel lighter and not run down. I feel like hungrier more yes, but thats because my food is digesting quicker and it’s more alive.  Moving away from the dead foods opens your eyes. It opens your heart, and your mind. I have been more creative, things have just come to me like when I’m driving. I will think of ideas for songs, or even painting here lately. I have enjoyed painting so much with Hannah.

I don’t even think she loves it as much as me, but regardless it takes your mind to the present moment and you just create and create. I love that. My heart is open more than it ever was and it has left me in a vulnerable place. I feel for the animals, I feel for the pain these people are going through with the hurricanes, and all of the material possessions they are losing in the floods and winds. I hurt for them, but I also understand on a spiritual level. We are not our bodies, and our homes. Our pictures and furniture are important to us, but they are not US. We are beautiful souls and if people would just unite and come together as many people are starting to that is what matters. You can’t lose things, you never owned them to begin with. We don’t really own anything here if you think about it. We own our love that we give and our truths that we speak. I want to keep that in mind in the coming days. I hate watching the sadness, yet I feel there is a more promising time coming. We just have to work together as a society to create it. It is rather sad yet true that disasters seem to bring people together. Catastrophes take people out of their own minds and make them more connected with others. In that it creates an awakening that we matter! People matter!  We have to stop living in fear and paralyzation and become what we were sent here to become. There is no greater time than now. In my opinion I believe we were all meant to be free! Free to express ourselves and free to be happy. Love is the key to all happiness. I hope for people to someday develop more compassion for themselves, others, and the animals that walk the world with us. Having empathy is a scary thing sometimes as I was mentioning above, but it also is what makes us feel alive inside. We must care for others but also care enough about ourselves to find our own truth. I will continue finding my own truth. I want to share the poems that I create, the songs I write, and the ideas that pop in this mind without the burden of fear, only love. Here is a poem I wrote the other morning.  thanks for reading.

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Awakened by star dust
the remnants on my soul
heavy burdens that have held me
its time, just let go….
Desired places within me
the books all unread
looking to the future
truths that lie ahead……
Radiant slivers of light
beaming through my chest
crystals emanating truths
the fragments never rest
The birds fly in tandem
with music of the wind
melting away the layers
Letting sun shine in.

 

2 thoughts on “Love more..fear less…

  1. Shirleen Chase

    Kristen, your are truly an inspiration to me and others, I’m certain. I am reading and rereading. Small steps are good. Thank you for your words and deeds.

    Like

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